Like many women who have children young, we have a false idea in our mind of how wonderful things will be between us and our child's father! For me I was 17, and thought we would sail off into that sunset and be happy ever after. Besides why not? He 'loved me and I loved him' so of course things were perfect. (The immaturity of a teenage mind lol) I was frightened about becoming a mummy. I was young, working and still living at home. Life was great. No real responsibilities. Despite my fears I was overjoyed at the prospect of being a mummy.
The warning signs with my child's father were there from the start and everyone else could see them just not me. He began to try to control me, and when I tried to break away he became violent.
I'm not bitter about what occurred between us all those years ago, I guess my real gripe is that SOME men diminish their responsibility and role as a father simply because it suits them to do so. I find it appalling and shameful that us as women (and a lot of single fathers too) are having to pick up the double slack because the other party doesn't want to claim their share of responsibility.
I'm sick and tired of hearing and seeing fellow queens struggling to make ends meet financially as though they created life alone.
In my case my child father has nothing at all to do in the upbringing or support of our child and that's his own personal choice. Now my son has never needed for anything and I have and always will, endeavour to make sure he has EVERYTHING he needs in abundance.
My question I guess is why? Why create life and then abandon it as though it means nothing. Do you think that these children will stay as children forever? Do you not think that these same children will one day expect answers from you? Do you not feel ashamed to be known as an absent parent?
Don't get me wrong as I said above there are women that do the same thing, and men that are left holding the baby. I also know that there are men that have been prevented from seeing their children through no fault of their own. But im talking about those that act as though the dishing out of having a conscience at birth missed them. Im talking about those who were born with a double dose of the selfish gene. Its not all about money but let's be real, I don't know any child that's been brought up on fresh air!!!!
It's about quality time, love, teaching. being a role model, etc
These kids, and in my case my son will grow into an adult not too long from now God willing, and is going to have questions for his other parent. I just hope he and all the other absent, non supporting parents will have the answers.
Kings and Queens the process of making and creating life is never one to take lightly. It is a God given gift that is not bestowed to all. If you are blessed enough to have a child or children, take that as just that, a blessing. Despite relationship breakdowns, your own childhood, your finances, your career or whatever.... still own that responsibility of being a parent. Our kids depend on you to give them the best start in life. Yes we know we can do it alone, but why should we? We never lay down and impregnated ourselves! For me being a parent is the most rewarding and special thing i have ever done. I feel abundantly blessed to be a mother and have my children call me mum. Regardless if my child's other parent is there or not I will assume my role as a queen and raise my kings to be just that. Men of integrity and men that assume responsibility in life. Men that respect women and themselves. And men that realise the importance of playing an active role in their kids lives.
Rant over (lol)