As a personal growth coach, one of the key areas i specialise in is healing from the past to be able to build your future. I know so well how much our past experiences can hold us back from moving forward and actually living our best life.
I wasted so much time, just repeating the same patterns, thinking and feeling the same. I was keeping myself a hostage to the past! When i think about it i had to heal from so much to be able to move forward. I had to relearn so much and reset my mindset, but it was the best move in my life.
I was healing from abuse where i spent a long time not dealing with. I put all of those memories to the back of my mind. I chose to ignore it instead of actually dealing with it. Most past relationships i have been in has had some form of abuse towards me. Also healing from the lack of relationship with my father, infidelity….. the list goes on. I had to tackle each of these issues head on. Being abused in the past kept me with zero self esteem or self love, kept me thinking very negatively of myself, treating myself badly, no motivation and no progression in my life.
I used 5 key elements when taking the time out to heal…..
Take a time out!!! In order to deal with the past, taking a time out to regroup and gain some space is a great place to start. I took time off from everything and just made myself the priority. I went abroad alone for the first time in my life, to really reflect. I felt that was so helpful. I had nobody to hold my feelings down for. (You know sometimes we downplay our emotions because we don’t want to make others feel uncomfortable). I cried a whole lot, i reflected even more and made plans for my life. So take a time out. Even if you are unable to go abroad, try to arrange some solo time.
Cry!!! As i mentioned above, i cried a whole lot. I had to. It felt incredible to cry out my pain. It was hard at first because my brain automatically shut down each time i tried to think of my past. But once i allowed the feelings to come to the surface i cried a whole lot and that release felt so good. Crying can be really healthy to express yourself and let go of inner pain.
Pray!!! Religious or not, for me praying became a staple in getting me through my healing phase. I have always been a woman of faith, but in those dark moments of self healing, i realised just how much my faith was needed. I needed to know that i was not alone. I was able to speak out my hurt, pain, memories, questions during prayer. I was able to talk and feel listened to but without any judgement or having to hold back. If you do not pray try meditation as a way of tuning in with yourself and bringing everything into alignment.
Be honest with yourself!!! Be transparent with yourself and don’t hold back. When your tackling your past issues to grow and move forward, you have to be honest with yourself. You have to take responsibility for your actions, you have to admit any wrongs. Be open to yourself. I chose to write during my healing, as i’ve always been better at writing my thoughts and feelings down rather than speaking. I wrote honestly about how i felt, what things have happened in my past and how those things affected me.
And lastly turn a pain point into a positive!!! I started blogging right at the start of my healing journey. I wanted to share my experiences with others, i wanted to express myself/vent, and most of all despite my own trials, i wanted to help and encourage others. Blogging was a great way to turn my pain into something positive. I was fulfilling all of my wants and healing at the same time…BONUS! If its starting a support group, if its blogging, if its a Youtube channel, a book, whatever it is that your drawn to, do it. It will motivate you even more as you go through the journey!
I hope these tips help you in your healing journey. Feel free to comment below ways which have helped you in your healing journey.
Love Patrice-Danielle xx